After finding out from Noah’s recent status that Jordan has a blog, I binge read all the posts from beginning to the end in shame. Shame that I didn’t know he has been writing a blog for however long I’ve known Jordan. I’m glad that Jordan has an outlet. Also, I’m talking about this blog, while writing a post for this blog. Meta af.
After getting married, it seems like everyone has decided altogether that the only way to start a conversation with me is “How’s the married life?” This still happens after having been married for more than a year now.
A lot of my friends started asking me for relationship advice, or just asking me questions about the concept of marriage in general. As if being married suddenly constitutes an expertise in relationships or marriage. As if marriage is the finish line of having “made it.”
But I still suck. I struggle at being a good partner. One thing I can share is that it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with a partner, it will always require hard work and continuous effort to keep a healthy, lasting relationship. I realize this more and more, now that I’m in a church community filled with couples older than my age. There are parents in their 30/40’s with kids, who share that they still have relationship problems that are quite relevant to the modern day relationships. So, maybe it’s okay to feel like you are not good at relationship, or feel like you don’t know what you’re doing. Actor J.K. Simmons plays a character named Mac Macguff in the movie Juno, and he says one of the most memorable lines in film history, when his character’s daughter(Juno) seems to have lost faith in two people’s ability to stay together.
Juno: I just need to know that it's possible that two people can stay happy together forever. Mac: Well, it's not easy, that's for sure. Now, I may not have the best track record in the world, but I have been with your stepmother for 10 years now and I'm proud to say that we're very happy.Last Sunday, I was talking to Steve, who is a praise leader of the praise band that I am in. He was telling me a story about his youngest daughter and how she loves eating this Egg-soufflé dish from Panera. And one day, when his family went to Panera, Maddy (Steve’s daughter) asked her dad if she could get an Egg- soufflé. And Steve decided to answer, “You know what, I’m gonna make you one.”
Mac: Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.
Steve’s a pretty enthusiastic guy, meaning he’s one of those guys who gets really excited when he gets into things. So Steve starts planning to make his daughter this beautiful Egg-soufflé. He looks up a recipe from tasty.com, he gets a cupcake mold and buys ingredients, including pie crust. Pie crust? Who knew so much effort went in to make a soufflé? So at the end of the week, Steve gets together the ingredient and puts it in a mold to cover with pie crust, and serves it to his kids; Steve has two sons and a daughter. Steve asks his sons first, “How is it?” And his two older sons, they know better. They respond with “It’s good dad.” and “Yeah, I’d say 99/100.” I mean, they’re not super excited about it, but they still want to show their dad how much they appreciate him putting the effort to make something for them. Now Maddy takes a bite. “Eh, I’d give it about a six.”
Now at this point of the story, I noticed Steve’s frustration and disappointment from his facial expression, since he basically made the dish for Maddy! He went through all the troubles to make her this dish, because he knew it was her favorite. Normally, Steve said he would’ve gotten angry. But instead, Steve told me that he thought about God. And how He felt about us. God giving us life, freedom, joy, love and in response, and us saying Ehh...I’d give that about a six. Eh, I’d rather have money. Eh, I’d rather have fame and success.
No, I’d rather be the one who doesn’t take it for granted, this great gift of life put in a silly metaphor of egg soufflé.